These type of memes, tweets, articles really piss me off. There is this ideal that is being spread throughout the black community that women need to follow a certain blueprint in order to be respected and considered good wives and mothers. We have heard it from men since before forever; "I couldn't be with no hoe," "I need a woman who gives me something to respect," "real women don't post X, y, or Z." Yes, we know these statements well, regulatory statements that men use to try to shape us into the image of mother Teresa who still has the skill of an experienced hooker. This is what we call oppressive patriarchy (yes, there is progressive patriarchy and I will speak on that another day.)
What pisses me off even more than men regulating women's behavior, are women who actively uphold and support these faulty patriarchal apparatuses. There is a shaming of certain kinds of women who are on instagram in bikinis, who twerk on a Tuesday, as if they too do not suffer from the same sexist and racist viewpoints as every other black woman on the planet. So you say she posts because she wants attention, do you know her background? Do you know her demons? Do you know what makes her do what she does? Then why are we shaming our sisters on the spot? When negros are on social media throwing dollar bills and Giant brand sparkling wine on strippers every Friday, do we say he must not be a good father, do we question his morals? No, but we sure will think that the stripper he's throwing the money on must be a bad mother. When you check that stripper's instagram account we sure do strip her of her queen-dom because her social media account doesn't match Ayesha Curry's.
Its not fair and it shouldn't be tolerated amongst black women. This is what feminism is for me, its this very intimate support of all black women, no matter their value systems, socio-economic background, or other. When you strip her of her queen-dom by degrading her and shaming her personhood, you are simultaneously stripping your personhood. Its something we can not forget living in America today: when you see one black woman you see us all.